You’ve been working hard to reach your goals. Before you know it your goals, dream and vision have consumed you. You know you’re way overdue for a break and some fun…

But you don’t take a break. You dig in and work harder to achieve the outcome you have in your head. But you’re not getting anywhere – it’s like pushing a string…

You become frustrated, grumpy, stressed, exhausted and depleted of all creativity. Then the worst possible thing happens you hit a wall. You turn on yourself and say things like:

“What the heck is wrong with me?”

“Why can’t I just get something done?”

“I don’t have time for this!”

Then you perpetuate the problem by focusing on the problem and get stuck in a nasty do loop asking why you’ve lost your mojo; why you feel broken and what’s wrong with you…

If you ‘re here right now take a deep breath and keep reading. Know that we are sisters. I am also a recovering perfectionist…and I recently used these tips to get myself unstuck.

Why in the heck do we do this to ourselves? I have learned, through experience and talking to other perfectionists,  that one reason is due to the prideful part of perfectionism. That part that doesn’t allow us to believe the preposterous idea that…you need a darn break like everyone…you are not super human.

Maybe one day we’ll both stop relearning this lesson and get out of the crazy cycle of perfectionism paralysis without the need for intentional thought…but until that time below are three tips to help you get unstuck.

1. STOP In the Name of Love: For goodness sake – STOP picking yourself apart! Stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. STOP in the name of love and love yourself. Accept that you are allowed to:

  • sleep and take naps
  • take a break
  • get sick and have downtime to recover
  • be overwhelmed and take time to process things
  • have some alone time
  • have fun
  • read a fictional book just for the fun of it
  • talk it out with a dear friend
  • pray!

2. Give Yourself Credit: I find that the worst part about perfectionism isn’t actually the unrealistic expectations you place on yourself – it’s the fact that you are never happy with what you do, who you are and/or what you have (read about attitude adjustments). Decide to give yourself credit each day BEFORE you move on to the next thing. Celebrate your decisions and your life – don’t wait to achieve the “big” goals to do this. Treat yourself like a child who you are encouraging.

3. Focus on What’s Right: You can see your vision and outcome for how things “should be” so clearly that you can taste it. When things don’t work out the way they “should” you grow frustrated and demoralized. You want to fix the situation or fix yourself so much that you become addicted to figuring things out to find the “right” solution. Instead of oppressing yourself take that energy and apply it to what’s going right.

Which tip will you apply today to  get unstuck from perfectionism paralysis?

Copyright 2015, Mary R.Miller