As the saying goes, “When God closes a door He opens a window”. 

Yet some days you feel like every door and window have been closed in your face. You feel like you keep missing opportunity’s knock.

You start to wonder why you can’t catch a break. You grow so frustrated that the door won’t open that you fail to realize… it’s locked from the inside.

I read a story, a while ago, that illustrates this point beautifully. It goes something like this:

A man saw an elephant trainer working with these giant animals with only a small frail rope tied to one of their legs. The elephants could have broken that bond but they don’t even try. The man asked the trainer why this was so. The trainer told him when the elephants were very young they used the same rope to tie them. Back then it was enough to hold them so they learned that they could not break free. And as they grew they continued to believe this rope was strong enough to hold them not realizing how strong or big they had grown. The man was amazed at the power of this one belief (read full story).

Belief is powerful. You learned not to touch a stove when you were little because it burned. As you grew you learned what others told you you were good and bad at. You learned what caused pain and what to avoid. These experiences helped to form your beliefs and outlook on life often at a subconscious level.

And all these years later you are stronger; you are bigger and many of these fear based beliefs are no longer needed. In fact, these beliefs are what have kept you from opening opportunity’s door. You have locked yourself behind a door of self-protection and from living the life you were born to live. This is what is preventing you from stepping out and taking risks. This is why you are missing opportunity’s knock.

Just like the elephant you believe that you couldn’t possibly step out and do _______________ (fill in the blank). That belief is the very thing that keeps you from moving past self-protection’s threshold.

Below are 3 lies the door of self protection tells you to prevent you from answering opportunity’s knock.

1. You Don’t Need Help: You think by not talking about your fears you are safe yet these thoughts and doubts are inside your body, mind and soul creating internal chaos. By not releasing these fears you are causing yourself stress and the anxiety. Your inner world has become much more unsafe than your outer world. Your perceived need for safety trumps asking for help from a coach, pastor, friend or counselor.

2. You Aren’t Strong Enough to Change : There is no light behind this closed door. The light is on the other side. Yet you are more afraid of the light then the darkness because in the light you will see all which needs to be healed, all which needs to be changed. And you think you’re not strong enough to handle that type of transformation.

3. You Are Living Life to the Fullest: The closed door stops you from being accessible and able to truly help others. You’re relationships are not very deep. People don’t really know the real you. When you can’t access your own messy emotions and begin to work through and process certain areas of your life you also will not be able to “go there” with another person.

Which steps will you take today to unlock the door of self-protection so you stop missing opportunity’s knock?

Copyright 2015, Mary R. Miller