Have you ever said these words before? “That’s it I quit! I can’t do this anymore.”

I know I have – at least a few times a year. I wanted to quit when I was finally ready to release my book and then my printer went out business.

I wanted to quit this past month when God stopped me and told me to turn around; that I had to go deeper into my own story.

There have been many times I’ve wanted to quit yet quit I did not…

This isn’t where I tell you that I have overcome, things are always wonderful and then sell you a book on “7 Steps to Be Perfect Like Me”…because I’m a work in progress just like you and life is not that simple.

What I can tell you is that I am quitting.

Yes. I am quitting the tiring task of judging myself…

In the world of Myers-Briggs I’m an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging). But before my own transformation I operated as an ENTJ (Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Judging). And the ENTJ’s need for control and my INFJ’s need for freedom to be creative often leaves me at an impasse. Let me explain the conflict.

The engineer/problem solver dominates my mind (TJ). It uses my intuition (N) to make quick decisions without questioning and bulldozes over my feelings (F). All the while my introverted (I) nature is trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Since you’re human I’m sure you can relate to having internal conflicts. While the details of your conflicts may be different then mine the issue of uncovering these conflicts is something you are challenged with as you change and transform. I find that Myers-Briggs, Core Values Index (CVI) (which Kristen Beireis, Owner of Coaches Marketing Source is wonderful at facilitating), DISC, my book The Birth of a Dream Catalyst, music and writing are all helpful starting points to make these internal conflicts become more concrete so you can be freed from the turmoil they cause. Because in order to quit something you need to know what that something is!

How am I quitting?  I am becoming curious about understanding how I feel about what I am think. I am well versed in thinking about what I’m thinking about but thinking about what I am feeling – I need more practice. And I am learning, from reading Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong and talking with Rhonda Reagh owner of Reagh & Associates, that personal development is a “practice” with different levels. Through the act of deciding to quit judging myself and allowing my feelings to have a voice –  I have leveled up in my personal development practice. Something had to die in order for me to continue in my own personal development – and was my old ENTJ conditioning and habits. I’ll let you know when the funeral is.

The best way to wrap this up is to share what I saw when I got curious about my feelings. Below is a picture I created to identify my internal conflict- after the fact. The trigger for my downward spiral was judging myself and always needing to know the answer to every situation. I am learning that the answer sometimes is another question and that’s okay.


Why not get curious the next time you find yourself stuck and wanting to say “I Quit”? Look deeper and you may find what you really need to quit.

P.S. If you want to share your process with me just shoot an email to mary@mydreamcatalyst.com. We’re in this together!

Copyright 2016, Mary R. Miller